Of course, after a certain amount time, you will notice a slight flicker in this generous whitespace devoid of any tangible information. Given the time and effort spent in your unwavering gaze, much later, the flicker will multiply into various coloured dots. These dots are a temporary phenomenon called retinal tear.

But please do continue watching the space. Your answer will reveal in a couple of hours when you hear muffled giggles from the corner of your eyes. This means you have kept yourself still long enough to warrant attention from your colleagues. You have become an imminent and potentially future source of subversive humour. Let this insight not detract you from your current task at hand. Please continue watching the space.

The passage of time might seem glacial, but it might have been only a few days elapsed since you embarked on this endeavour. The strange tickling sensations tracing a halo-like pattern around the crown of your head might be cobwebs-in-the-making by some opportunistic spiders. The occasional shrill noises at night might not be the usual crickets after all, but little rats ogling at you. The pithy tch, tch from the ceiling might be the most patient audience of them all, the stunned household lizards. They produce these sounds only when they are amazed at some still life which rival their own stillness, out of pure jealously, obviously. However, the good news is that the worst is probably over. So, please continue watching this space.

In the midst of all this, please do not be surprised, if the prolonged presence of the white’space’ burnt a hole on your LCD screen. This is perfectly natural and probably for the better. You will now have the unrestricted viewing pleasure of an actual space right in the middle of your screen. This is a real ‘window’ and gladly enough, cannot be closed or minimized by any means. This is wonderful news for a patient observer like you. So, please continue watching this space.

In the meanwhile, the human race which, in evolutionary terms, quite recently got an upgrade from their always quibbling, tree jumping cousins, would have found themselves engaged in a major war of some kind. As a non-participant to this frivolous event, you would probably be quite indifferent to the comical sounding sirens around your place.

Suddenly through the little window you have been gazing, somewhere in the distance, you might notice a bellowing angry red mushroom cloud. This might be accompanied by a brilliant bright flash of light. But…

Please, please continue watching this space!

1. Projects with realistic budgets and timetables don’t get approved

2. Activity in the early stages should be dedicated to finding the correct questions

3. The more desperate the situation the more optimistic the progress report

4. A user is somebody who rejects the system because it’s what he asked for

5. The difference between project success and failure is a good PR company

6. Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it

7. Every failing, overly ambitious project, has at its heart a series of successful small ones trying to escape

8. A freeze on change melts whenever heat is applied

9. There’s never enough time to do it right first time

10. You understood what I said, not what I meant

11. If you don’t know where you’re going, just talk about specifics

12. If at first you don’t succeed, rename the project

13. Everyone wants a strong project manager – until they get him

14. Only idiots own up to what they really know (thank you to President Nixon)

15. The worst project managers sleep at night

16. A failing project has benefits which are always spoken of in the future tense

17. Projects don’t fail in the end; they fail at conception

18. Visions are usually treatable

19. Overly ambitious projects can never fail if they have a beginning, middle and no end

20. In government we never punish error, only its disclosure

21. The most difficult way is, in the long run, the easiest

22. A realist is one who’s presciently disappointed in the future

I am pretty sure most of us can relate to these ;)